I have been reflected on the cross(Jesus dying on the cross for our sins). And what that meant to me as I am going through the dessert. A season I could describe my spiritual life journey right now. It’s quite easy to look back at my life before Christ and blame myself on the sins I don’t think Jesus died on the cross for. And that thought makes me think that I have not fully believed on the fact that, Jesus made it on the cross for all of my sins. Although, I am learning it’s a daily reminder and also a choice I make. I have recently noticed that I best grow and learn through other people (story, faith journey etc…). Here is a story I have seen God speaking to me clearly.
I have met Maria about a year ago through my part time job. We have had very few encounters. Every time I would speak to Maria though, I knew I could have deeper conversation than a regular person you would randomly meet. She would avoid any conversation that involved spirituality/God. Little did I know that we were in different place (faith wise). Maria was and still is going through a deconstruction of her faith. It was my first time to her about that concept. Ever since we started to hang out and have more and more conversations about God and her journey I started to question my own faith. After few months spending with her I felt completed defeated and decided to take a break from her because I did not know what God was leading me into. My reason was I don’t have enough capacity to love her now. I heard God saying “its because you are trying on your own strength”. That was such an opening for me and a conviction in my heart.
I believe that God will meet Maria where she is and blow her mind. Her journey has been an inspiration for me in this season. It easily leads me to my knees and look up to God even when I don’t understand what he is secretly doing.