In August, It was an overwhelming month for working I have ever faced. It was because I moved from Florida to Ohio. Everything was unfamiliar to me and I had to adapt to the new circumstances. New people, new environment and new jobs gave me a lot of pressure. At that time, I had no idea whether I was capable to achieve all the goals. There were too much unknowns such as housing, working condition, and church life. None of these conditions was under my control. The only two things I could do were praying and did my best.
I felt helpless at that time because people didn’t know us. I didn’t know who could I ask for help. Even though I asked for help, it wasn’t everyone able to help because I was suffered spiritually. I didn’t want to accept the reality of leaving Florida and leaving those friendly people I love. I prayed to God and asked why did I sorrow within this environment. I couldn’t remove these dreadful feelings but there was a scripture floated out from my mind “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength” Isaiah 30:15. I was hoping to regain the strength from God. Everything I did at that time was based on my efforts and people’s plans. I didn’t affirm that those plans and efforts fulfilled God’s will. Therefore, I was struggled and wanted to escape from these situations.
I asked God how can I renew strength from you. There were too many works waiting for me to finish from Monday to Sunday. I don’t have my quiet time and the quality time that connected with you. God didn’t answer me any questions. He just let more people who needed to be helped spiritually close to me. In my observation, I magnified my feelings so that I got panic and the issues could be solved. God wants me to put the faith in him no matter what terrible situation I faced just as Peter concentrated on Jesus and he won’t fall into the sea. Thank God for moving my focusing point to students but not myself. I agree that human isn’t perfect so that I shouldn’t set the expectations so high. It will disappoint myself and let me frustrated.