As I mentioned at my ISEED graduation presentation, last summer, before I came to IFI, I had a very negative attitude toward my relationship with other people. Having just said goodbye to my dear college friends, and with no clear prospect of future reunion, I was soaked in melancholy. I cannot help but feel that people that I enjoyed being with, and drawn to, would fade away gradually like shadows lengthening at dusk, soon to be swallowed whole in darkness. Grieved by the separation from my friends, and apathetic to the idea of making new friends, I truly felt I did not need any new friendships. After all, what’s the point of investing in new relationships in a one-year internship, knowing that I would eventually move on to the next step of life, leaving whatever memories behind, into the deep recesses of my mind.
Throughout my year with IFI however, I had been receiving abundant love from others, and the ISEED graduation presentation was yet another powerful reminder. When I saw all the lovely faces of our staff, and my photos from the year, I once again experienced how God softens hard hearts. The Bible tells us that “We love because he first loved us”. When I was trying to shut down my heart to others, God still loved me so much. He gracefully taught me to put Him and others before myself. Following Jesus is not to stay away of pain, but to choose to live for His higher purpose despite of pain.
It’s been a year since I thought I did not need any new friends in my life. But now I have known quite a bunch, through whom I experience God’s love to me every day.