Human beings are always so short sighted in viewing their own lives and have little wisdom before God. We probably can see some problems we have since the Holy Spirit lives in us but we can’t know everything about ourselves.
I have found that God always answers or talks to me in ways that I did not expect. I also see this in the ways that He heals me.,. I still remember the first time I was asked to share my testimony in our master life’s group within 5 minutes. I thought I had been asked so many times about my testimony that it could not be a big deal to prepare. But when I open my mouth that day, Holy Spirit brought up something I never expected to share. I had almost forgotten about this part of my life and I couldn’t help from crying when the story came out from my mouth. That was the first step of healing from him that I did not expect, there are more and more surprises coming through the classes of Attending Prayer, Inner Healing and even the Vision Conference in Denver.
During the process of praying about two months, I did get some answers from God but I was so focused on getting the direct answer about my next step, I couldn’t understand the big picture of how God is working on me (there are so many details I cannot share them all at this time). On the last day of vision conference, after I heard different testimonies shared by speakers these days, I wrote down a list of my feelings during this time period unconsciously. And I suddenly realized all these step by step answers were for dealing with the TRUST issue between God and me which I never knew this existed inside my deeper heart. I am so moved by his grace, love and patient on me and I also want to repent myself about holding everything in my hand. Before I knew him, he knew me well. I believe for the rest of my life, I may always find that I am taking a part of the whole God’s big picture on me but I really want to be with him daily and let his will leading my way! How great joy that I can image in this world! Praise the Lord!