When everything started to be on the right track, as to me, it is a very tight schedule. I started to work on my major part and ISEEDers’ classes, homework and reading some books. And I have to work hard on my graduation paper for Chinese graduated school, there are three more classes have to be finished in this semester. In addition, I just have a mind come out for establishing a Chinese biblical books’ reading gathering for some returnee before they left. Additionally, I nearly met students every night and on weekend I sometime would give a ride for them to the mall/grocery stores if they have something need to buy in a hurry. Then, I also get a lot of connections with some students (believer and non-believer) in China at the same time. There is no time actually for myself or for spending time with master.
I was almost burned out in two weeks. Not only because of this tight schedule but also a huge big burden in my heart. I was the person would like everything I work to be at least “good” result! Unconsciously, I told myself I have to work everything in my schedule well! I will get upset if I cannot make the thing I expected would happen. This time, I figure out that these pressures are giving by myself. If I never end up taking these myself, the Lord can never help for taking these burdens. Then, I gave my body to the Lord and start to pray before some decisions so that I can still be energetic with tight schedule.
Therefore, I thought I was so focusing on letting two students receive Christ before they left so I feel myself so argumentative at the first time of book review’s meeting. Then, I repent on this to the Lord. Suddenly, I can tell Holy Spirit started working on the second time’s meeting, people’s hearts started become more open than my expectation. I knew that God was also working on my problem through this. Relax in Christ so that he can work.
For this is what the master, the Lord, the Holy One of Israel says: “if you repented and patiently waited for me, you would be delivered; if you calmly trusted in me you would find strength, but you are unwilling.” (Isaiah 30:15)
But those who wait for the Lord’s help find renewed strength; they rise up as if they had eagles’ wings, they run without growing weary, they walk without getting tired. (Isaiah 40:31)